I won’t pretend that it’s some kind of difficulty I’m forced to bear. I also won’t pretend that I am simply ‘lucky’. I have the kind of marriage dreams are made of, and a husband fit to star in any fairy tale. Sure, sometimes it gets old to hear people comment on how incredible my husband is- at first, I felt a mixture of pride and offense. Who were these people to tell me how lucky I am? To express constant admiration of the man I had managed to lock down- as though it were some sort of miracle!
My incredible marriage to a wonderful man has come after years of relationships in which I gave too much of myself- contributing far more to a shared relationship in order to keep it going than I was capable of handling. In these relationships, I was operating under the impression that love was pain- a battlefield, as they say. I had the idea that in order to truly be in love, there had to be a certain amount of misery involved. It has been in marriage only that I have come to understand relationships as they were truly meant to be.
Today, I feel only joy when my husband receives praise upon praise as others respond to the urge to reap that praise upon me. My joy comes from the knowledge that I only am responsible for mindfully evolving into the woman I was when I met this incredible human being, with whom I now share a life of laughter and silliness. If I could pass along any tidbit of knowledge to the young women of today, I would violently call attention to the necessity of finding and falling in love with yourself.
Know your passions; not simply what interests you, or something you like to talk about. Your PASSION: that most important cause to which you have lent your energy. That force to which you have deemed so important that you have personally involved yourself in moving it along to the future, to make sure that generations to come will benefit from it. Whatever it is that puts a smile on your face, tears in your eyes, and a tingle in your toes every time you think of it or talk about it- that, your passion, is what you bring into a marriage and carry forth as you move through life.
I enjoy learning how I, individually, contribute to my marriage. In the most important partnership of my life, I love to understand the balance that we dance upon. I feel validated in knowing what I have added to our relationship, just as much as I feel validated in knowing how I have grown from the contributions of my sweet husband.
Marriage has been the best friendship I have ever known; the safest place I have ever been.